A few years ago at a back-to-school PD in September, our principal urged each of us to come up with a “focus word” that would drive us for the year. While I’m not usually one to make specific New Year’s Resolutions, for teachers January 1st is more of a halfway point through our school year. It’s like a benchmark that provides a good time to think about what we’ve learned from the first half, and what we need moving forward. For every teacher I know, Christmas break is “eye on the prize”…and we heartily pat each other on the backs in congratulations for surviving to this point! That week or two break in December gives us a little time to take a breath, sleep, and mentally reset for the second half of the school year.
As teachers, we need each other to encourage and uplift each other, and we need to remind each other about staying grounded in the correct priorities and not losing ourselves in our work (it’s too easy to do). Here’s a list of New Year’s resolutions especially for teachers that can improve your sanity and quality of life as you look ahead to May and June. Choose one (or a few) that resonate with you!
1. I will not place my concern for work above my physical and mental health.
Teachers are tireless and selfless by nature, and all of this putting ourselves second and “doing it for the kids” can take its toll on us in a serious way. I’ve seen real stories of teachers who allow the stress of their jobs to come very near to killing them because of severely deteriorated mental or physical health. Folks, this is your job. Yes, maybe it’s a calling for you, Yes, it can be intensely fulfilling. Yes, you need a job to pay your bills and support your family. But in the end…would you do it for free if they stopped paying you? Most would say no. So remember that jobs come and go. But your health, when it’s gone, is far more difficult to recover, and in some cases, impossible. You need to adequately take care of yourself. AND you need to not apologize for it.
2. I will not place my concern for work above my personal relationships.
See above: it’s much of the same here. I recently heard a teacher talk about how her desire to make good lesson plans had her so enmeshed in her work that she acknowledged she was neglecting her own kids at home, and that her husband was threatening divorce if something didn’t change. Girl…those are your KIDS! That is your husband! Again…this is a job. Is it really worth ruining your marriage and missing out on precious and fleeting moments with your kids?
Personal story: for the first 5 years of teaching, I taught summer school every year. It was great, easy money. I was young and married with no other real demands on my time. But when my first children were born (twins), my mother urged me: stay home with them in the summer; you’ll never get this time back. I took her advice, and 10 years later, I can tell you it’s one of the best things I ever did (thanks, Mom!) Every single summer of their lives has been filled with quality time together and memories made.
Put down that lesson plan. It can wait. You’ll never be on your deathbed wishing you’d spent more time at work, but you may wish you’d prioritized your family time differently.
3. I will keep the first things first.
Are we seeing a pattern yet? Recently, as I’ve been listening to the struggles of the teachers around me, I’ve been hearing a lot of folks struggle with their “heart for the kids” and taking care of their own personal mental, emotional, and physical health. I’m not immune to this; recently when I caught a bug that was going around I had to take ½ sick day on a Friday; by Sunday I was feeling better, but two of my babies at home had caught it and wanted all mama, all the time. Although my husband would be home to care for them and I didn’t technically have to call out of work, I struggled a bit with my heart to be mom to my sick babies who wanted me, and my sense of obligation in being at work just a few days before break started. It was the encouragement and support of a colleague texting with me on Sunday afternoon that gave me the permission I needed to give myself to “be mom first.” This felt right to me, but I also simultaneously realized that there was something inherently wrong with a situation where I would even hesitate or question what to do. If I say that my family is the most important thing to me, shouldn’t my actions reflect that? The things we value influence the choices we make, and that includes where we spend our time. Make a list of your priorities. Then take a look at your daily schedule and see what your actions say: do the two align? If not, take steps to make adjustments.
4. I will practice saying “No” to the optional items that overwhelm me.
I’ve talked about this before: saying “no” is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. You can’t do it all. And if you continue trying to, you’re just going to burn yourself out. Those “little” yeses for things that seem small add up over time. Again, go back to that priority list: budget your time like you budget your money; once it’s out, it’s out. You can’t invent more time for yourself in a day any more than you can invent dollar bills.
5. I will not stress more about my students’ grades than they do.
This is such a common thing we stress about, isn’t it? You’ve always got that one kid who’s pulling a 94 average in the class and will barely give you any breathing space because he’s just got to raise that average by 2 more points…sitting right next to the kid that does the bare minimum (or less), has been failing since the second week of school, and seems like he could absolutely care less. We pull our hair out and bend over backwards to show them what they’re missing, offer extra help, do a whole bunch of different interventions…and for some, they just don’t care. Could be 100 reasons why…but in the end, you’ve got to learn to let go of that stress. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Ultimately, you’ve got to remind yourself that everyone makes their own choices and must live with the consequences of those choices. We are not in control of nor responsible for anyone’s choices but our own.
6. I will not allow toxic people to live in my head rent-free.
This is such a hard job; we need each other. Sometimes supportive colleagues are the only thing that will get you through the day and keep your sense of humor. I’ve been blessed to always be surrounded by wonderful coworkers in each school where I’ve worked, but I KNOW that’s not the case everywhere. I’ve heard the stories: pettiness, jealousy, gossiping, cliques…unfortunately some folks never grow out of this and there are some teachers, administrators, and parents who freely let this toxic mess flow. If you are unlucky enough to find yourself in this kind of environment, I have 2 pieces of advice for you: first, seriously consider whether you might find work elsewhere. If that’s not an immediate option for you, at the least determine to let these things roll off you like water off a duck’s back. Don’t get sucked in to these toxic traps. Close your classroom door, focus on your students, do your job to the best of your ability, and ignore all the rest of the mess to the furthest extent you can–and perhaps brainstorm for a long-term solution down the road.
7. I will commit to uplifting one other adult at work every day.
Be the person you need at work. Say hello to everyone you pass in the hallway. Give a friendly smile. Engage in small talk in the copy room instead of looking at your phone. Whether you work at a school with a wonderful culture or a toxic one, either way it will be enriched for the better by you deciding to be that person who brings light wherever you go. You truly never know who you will impact with your smile and kindness–this goes for students of course, but also applies equally to adults. Teachers are often pretty good at hiding personal issues at work because there’s no space in our day for them. But we are all just people going through life, including all of its ups and downs. The people around you are hurting each in their own way, and every single one of them would be benefitted by a little extra kindness in their day. Determine to be the most optimistic person in your workplace, the one who brings the sunshine with them. Watch it transform others and yourself–there’s something about uplifting other people: when we take our focus off of ourselves, we are always happier and better off for it.
A more balanced you in 2024
I hope you are able to see a need you have in one of these resolutions, and that you feel that at least one of them is something you can commit to for yourself in the new year. A career in education naturally lends itself to imbalance; so much is demanded of us at every turn. You owe it to yourself to occasionally check the steering wheel, remind yourself that YOU are in the driver’s seat of your own life, and course correct for your own well-being. Cheers to a renewed and more balanced you in the new year!