How to Reduce Stress and Overwhelm (Step 1): PRIORITIZE

Feeling Completely Overwhelmed? Let’s dive in.

The Mindset Shift

I was having a conversation recently with someone who felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of things they needed to accomplish each day. They recognized it was a problem, but felt stuck when it came to fixing it. 

“I have responsibilities at home and at work, people depending on me. EVERYTHING seems urgent, yet there’s just not enough hours in the day to get it all done…”

Can you relate to this feeling?

I know I can…

At home, I’ve got 5 people depending on me emotionally, mentally, and physically. They’re my most important relationships, and I can’t afford to (and don’t want to) neglect them in any way. With 4 of those people being age 1, 3, and 11, the needs are constant and a lot. Add on the fact that my twin girls are firmly venturing into tween hormonal territory, and the pressure to help them navigate their own complex emotions add a whole new layer of mental and emotional demand. I also am active in volunteering for several church ministries each week, which is important to me. And then of course, there are my own personal friendships that also need attention and time.

At work, I’ve got 70 students per semester, 3 other people in my PLC (we’re pretty tight-knit and plan very closely with each other), my co-teacher, admin, the intervention team, and now that I’ve volunteered to do a 3-session PD in the spring…add a few hundred other teachers in my building to that list of people who rely on me in one way or another at work. 

Online, there’s you, friend, and the rest of the Tightrope Teaching audience, whom I genuinely care about helping, even though we haven’t met in real life. Because I know that on the other side of that click, you’re a real person, a real teacher, just like me and my colleagues at work. And if you were teaching in the room next to me, I’d do whatever I could to help you! So, no difference just because you’re online! We’re teachers: helping others is in our blood! And let’s be honest: teachers NEED to help each other. It’s rough out there, and we need to stick together.

Here’s why I’m telling you about all the folks in my world who depend on me: because I know you’re living the same teacherlife as I am. I know you’re no different from me: you’ve got all those same people groups depending on you, too, and maybe a few others added on top of that! Maybe you’re a caretaker for a loved one. Maybe you volunteer someplace in your community. Maybe you’ve got a second (or third) job because the school salary just doesn’t cut it, and that then adds an entirely new set of folks who rely on you each week.

What’s the conclusion here?

IT IS HARD to balance all these things!!

It is also POSSIBLE.

I KNOW it feels impossible. It feels like a mountain, and you’re using a teaspoon to dig it out. 

But here’s the thing about lifestyle and mindset change: no matter what the topic or context, it is always possible. Difficult does not mean impossible; it means difficult. 

“With enough patience and commitment you can do anything.” 

I firmly believe this because I am living proof of it. Also, just think for a moment of any person in history whom you consider to be influential and successful in some way: that person was just a person. They had the same 24 hours in a day as anyone else. They were not perfect. They had strengths, weaknesses, and insecurities just like you and I. And really, the only thing that separated them from the pack was those two things: patience and commitment. This is great news; it means that you can do it too. 

OK. Inspiration without feet on the ground is just dreaming…so let’s get our hands in the dirt. 

Where Do I Begin?

What are the concrete, practical steps to digging yourself out of this overwhelming mountain of responsibilities that daily come at you from all angles? 

I’ll be writing a series of blog posts on this topic to give you several different steps and strategies, but here’s the first step: PRIORITIZE.

Prioritizing is as simple as this: put the first things first.

It is making a distinction between what feels urgent and what is actually urgent. (Let that one simmer for a minute and really sink in). 

The concept is very simple, yet we often struggle to do this for so many reasons…as teachers, I think most of us have good intentions and great big hearts…and our sympathy and empathy for others can sometimes cloud up our vision so that we lose track of our priorities.

So, how do we determine what exactly are the “first things”? How do we define what is a priority and what isn’t? 

I separate priorities into two categories: survival-driven  and value-driven.

Both of these categories come into play at work and at home. Let’s define exactly what they are.

Survival-driven Priorities

“Survival” might sound a tad dramatic to you, but I think it’s accurate. These are the types of things that meet our basic needs and the basic requirements of our roles in life. For example, here’s a list I might write for myself of survival-driven priorities:

On the “work” side, these things MUST be accomplished either daily or by specific deadlines if I want to keep my job and therefore the paycheck that keeps my family fed and indoors. The “home” list has things that MUST be accomplished if I am to be a basically competent parent and responsible adult. In both environments, these things are non-negotiable and ensure the basic survival of myself and my family; therefore, they are “first things”…priorities.

Value-driven Priorities

These are defined as the things that are most important to my mental and emotional well-being. If I don’t do these things, or go against them in some way, I betray my values and my sense of inner peace. I feel like an imposter to myself because these things are woven into the essential fabric of who I am and what is important to me in this life. The list is more abstract, but there are daily actions and responsibilities that are tied to them in one way or another. Here’s an example of the value-driven priorities I would write for myself: 

As you can see, there is definitely quite a bit of overlap between the two! That’s really a product of the fact that I’m pretty transparent; I’m the same person no matter where I go or who I’m with. (That’s a bonus tip in prioritizing for less stress: always be true to yourself…thanks, Shakespeare!)

“This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

–Hamlet, 1.3.84-86

First things First, Second, Third…

After you’ve clearly identified for yourself what are truly your most important priorities, write down tasks associated with them. For example, if I want to ensure my daughter knows she is important to me, I will put a mommy-daughter-date on the calendar, or make it a point to stop what I’m doing and ask about her day. 

When you’ve got the concrete tasks written down, number them in the order which they should be done. The easiest way to do this is to start with anything that has a deadline (like report cards or bills)–that’s something outside of your control. After that, impose your own mental deadlines on the rest, being realistic about where things will fit in. (Another bonus tip: you can also break down larger things into several sittings! For example, if I know I want to have a post ready to publish at the end of the week, I can plan several mini-work sessions throughout the week instead of one long session that probably won’t fit in to my schedule).

Your Turn: Let’s Take the First Step!

Ok, so here’s your homework: set aside a little time (I know you’re short on it!) to make 2 lists for yourself. If you are so busy that you don’t feel you can spare 10-12 minutes to make these lists, that is a sign that you desperately need to make these lists! 

If this stresses you out because you feel like making 2 lists is just adding another task on top of your already-overflowing mountain of tasks, I’m here to lend you a helping hand on this part. Send me a quick email! I’ve prepped a FREE Priority Organizer for you that I am happy to send your way to help you get started in this process. Let’s walk this tightrope together. 

Remember, the purpose of doing this is so you can start to dig yourself out from under that mountain of overwhelming daily things that are all vying for your attention. Changing your habits and mindset is a process and not an overnight quick-fix, but you can do it, and you owe it to yourself to do it! 

The reward of the simple breathing space you will create in your own life…I can’t wait for you to get there and have that feeling. Request your FREE Priority organizer, make your 2 lists, and I’ll meet you back here next week for Step 2!