What’s your favorite food? (If tiramisu is in the top 5, let’s be friends!)
I LOVE food…eating, learning new ways to cook, eating, learning about nutrition, watching cooking competitions, trying new foods and ethnic cuisines…oh, and did I mention eating? (This, of course, is the beautiful irony of a transformed life that I explained over in this other blog post).
Whether it’s the first sip of cappuccino, a perfect piece of tiramisu, or a fresh sushi roll that’s almost too beautiful to eat, I’ve learned that the key to maximizing my enjoyment of that thing is to savor it.
Nobody enjoys coffee when they chug it–it is best sipped slowly, in between excellent conversation with a friend.
What good is wolfing down that tiramisu unless you get the chance to notice and appreciate the creamy layers of rich flavors and textures?
And with the price of sushi, slow down! Practice your chopstick skills, notice the artistic quality and nuances of flavors and textures, otherwise you’ll be done and looking for another roll before the waiter even comes to check on you.
Now that you’re hungry…let’s unpack the metaphor!
In a busy life, you’re always going to have something going on. If you’re starting at full-throttle overwhelm, your goal is to pare it back to a manageable and enjoyable pace, not dump all of your responsibilities and then be completely bored. That’s not realistic! As a teacher, you are always going to have a lot to do (inherent in the job); and if you’re also a parent, you’ll never lack for things to do at home, either.
So you DO need to prioritize and edit your schedule and to-do lists, but realistically, you will probably not have a huge ABUNDANCE of free time all of a sudden–rather, you will now have SOME free time where you used to have NONE.
This post is about how to maximize that time–how to make 1 day off feel like 3.
This is looking at managing your time from a different angle: rather than how to get the most done in the shortest amount of time, it’s how slowing yourself down within a short amount of time can actually make you feel like the time itself slows down. And that, friends, is the most amazing type of relaxing feeling!
The Secret Sauce: Be Present
So you’ve got your day blocked off into chunks: work life, home life, maybe even some self-care time like going to the gym, doing a hobby, or having a date with your spouse or friend. Mark my words (and you probably already know this feeling for yourself): if you are in one place but always thinking ahead to the next thing, you are never fully present. And not being fully present breeds anxiety and stress. It will also make you feel like you’re missing out or falling behind. And whether or not those feelings match reality, those feelings will still affect you as though they are reality.
So here’s the first “secret sauce” tip for making the most of your moments: be there for them. Be there not just physically, but mentally.
Be Present for your Family
If you have set aside time to go to your child’s basketball game, don’t bring with you papers to grade in the bleachers or be on your phone during it. BE at the game for your kid. If you need a sobering thought to motivate you toward this end, put yourself in your kid’s shoes. How would you feel if you were them down there on the court, and you looked up into the stands, only to see your parent physically sitting there but completely immersed in work or a screen? I know how I felt as a kid and my parents would come to all my dance recitals and cheerleading events. I know that I always scanned the crowd to see where they were, and that I always felt loved, proud, and encouraged when I saw their smiling faces totally focused on me.
Which parent do you want to be? Which memory do you want your kid to have?
I also know how I feel nowadays as a mother myself when I take my own kids to the playground–I always look around, and in my observations, 8 out of 10 parents are sitting on a bench on their cell phones as their kids run around on the playground. Here’s the thing–I’m not trying to judge those parents, but I do think of how their kids must feel in that moment. This is because I know how my own kids respond when I am physically with them but distracted vs how they light up and scream in excitement when I make eye contact with them and chase or play with them instead. It literally is a world of difference. And since “mom-guilt” is one of my least favorite emotions to contend with…I try to proactively avoid it whenever possible. This is one such opportunity. Be present with your kids.
The same thing goes for time with your spouse. Whether you’re on a date together or just having quality time at home, be present. My husband has said to me before, “If you’re here physically, but I feel like you’re mentally somewhere else, what’s the point?” When we were first dating, we had a mutual rule: leave the phone in the car. This ensured that we were focused entirely on each other, not distracted by something less important. At home now we have a rule of no phones at the dinner table.
My husband and I are pros at feeling like we have stretched one day into several. We will often reflect together on a random Saturday and agree, “today was 4 days…” and genuinely feel like that! I credit it to being present in each of the moments.
Whatever your family rules are, make sure that the most important people in your life feel like the most important people in your life by giving them your undivided attention when you are with them.
Don’t let it creep in
I know that one of the biggest challenges teachers have is time, not having enough, and when to get things done–which is why we bring home stacks of papers to grade and do them on nights and weekends. Well, that’s kind of the point of Tightrope Teaching: to get you OUT of that lifestyle…to help you move from a full grading bag to bringing no bag home at all–while still being an excellent teacher and not shirking your duties.
By implementing the various strategies that I’m sharing with you all throughout the blog, you will get there: and this is an important piece. Be fully present in the moments that you’re in. You will feel more fulfilled, and feel like you’re actually soaking up your life moments instead of missing them.
Savor it
Remember, no one likes to chug their coffee.
Take the time to savor the activities you are already doing, because your one precious life is comprised entirely of those moments.
Your life is ultimately a series of memories; what a beautiful opportunity that you get to decide what kind of memories you will intentionally make.